1. Not All Like That





    Imagine a minefield… a strip of land seeded with traps that will maim or kill you if you put one foot in the wrong place. What’s the wrong place? You’ll know when you step there. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. The pattern that gets you safely through one part might get you killed in another part.

    It isn’t that every square inch of soil in the minefield means certain death, of course. But what would the ratio of safe ground to mined ground have to be before you could actually relax, before you could feel safe… before you could be safe, in practical terms?

    Imagine that you and your entire family are woken up at dawn every day and made to cross the minefield in order to just live your lives. You’re not allowed to take the same route as each other. You have to watch each other as you make your way through an invisible deadly maze, never knowing if today will be the day but always knowing that it could be.

    And one day, while you’re in the middle of that maze, watching your children or your siblings pick their way carefully around you, you say, “I HATE EVERY LAST INCH OF THIS FUCKING MINEFIELD.”

    And then you hear a voice from up above you, from someone who doesn’t have to walk the minefield… someone who’s allowed to use a footbridge to bypass it every day while you’re inching your way through it, someone who gets a head start on everything compared to you and yours because they don’t have to go through the minefield…

    And the voice says, “That isn’t fair. Sure, some of the minefield will kill you if you step on it, but it isn’t all like that.”

    This is for every person who has come to me on both twitter and tumblr talking about “we’re not all like that”. I’m so sick of hearing that shit.

    this is beautiful. 

    Bay. Sick. Lee.

    (Source: blue-author, via jcatgrl)


  2. Can we please stop with the Straight Guy= Ultimate Gay Fantasy bullshit?


    I’m seriously over it. 

    To be perfectly honest, it just feels like a gateway to potential hate crime scenarios. 

    We keep pushing this idea that if we keep pushing hard enough and just ask the right questions, we can turn any man gay at least temporarily.

    That is a really dangerous message to be sending in SEVERAL ways:

    • it desensitizes gay men to the concept of consent. Most of these scenarios that are so popular in gay porn operate under that gay guy just diving at the straight guy’s nuts, with the straight guy actively protesting until he just gives in.
    • It reinforces the notion that all gay men clamor to be with straight men.
    • It reinforces the notion that gay men are willing to toss away their dignity for a chance with a straight man.
    • It reinforces that false notion that straight men hold a monopoly on masculinity.
    • It reinforces that idea that the only acceptable sexual partner is a masculine man.
    • It places heterosexual men at the center of our sexuality.

    I mean, I get it if you’re into masculine men, I am myself, but at the same time, I’m not about to toss my dignity and the dignity of other gay men into the fire just for a chance to suck the dick of someone who doesn’t even want me there in the first place.

    It just feels so pathetic that we as a group are sooooo wrapped up in this desire to be assimilated into hetero-society via-straight dick. 

    Where’s the dignity?

    (via thedarkchocolatedandy)

  3. poorlifechoicesblog:


    “Sleeping on the streets or walking down the aisle?

    It’s time to start prioritizing LGBT youth.”

    photo from Transgender Support (worldwide) facebook page.

    20 to 40 percent of homeless youth are LGBT, compared to 5 to 10 percent of the general youth population. (x)

    (via fauxcyborg)


  4. My Final Rant on Chick-Fil-A


    My original intent for this article was to write a thoughtful analysis of the craziness that was Chick-Fil-A appreciation day. But nope. You will get none of that from me. Because I am frustrated, very frustrated, with how this all went down.

    Read More

    (Source: johnpaulbrammer, via holisticsexualhealth)


  5. Straight men threatened by gay men.


    Last time I checked you was supposed to eat the pussy , not be a pussy , feel me? We dogging ya’ll because ya’ll stay running scared.  My brother over here talkmbout that gay guys are okay but flamboyant gay guys no and I am ready to drop kick his ass. If he can stand to be around me he can stand to be around everyone. And why the fuck these straight men always checkin their balls for? Like did you lose them upon placing your eyes on a flamboyant gay man? Are you THAT scurred ? I don’t get it . And why the fuck ya’ll wanna act like we asking for your mother fucking approval . Bitch please, aint no body ask ya’ll for anything , aint no body in favor of your god damn opinion in the first place. If something is making you uncomfortable about a “flamboyant” gay man, then you need to check yourself because something is obviously wrong. In what way are they bothering you? Is it because you think of them as acting like “too much of a woman” ? Is that it? Or is it something else cause I’m just not getting why ya so damn intimidated by a fabulous gay man. To say you’re okay with a “normal gay” but you’re not okay with a “flamboyant gay” doesn’t make you sound cool, or accepting because in every way the moment you opened up yo mouth talking that nonsense you sounded like a scared ignorant fool who needs to check himself. 

    He lucky he my brother, I can deal with my own blood and teach them right from wrong but as for other straight mens ya’ll killing me. Seriously grow the fuck up. We don’t need your approval . Ya’ll be going running lip talking all this foul shit, then ya’ll get put in place and then ya’ll wanna get mad at gay people holding gay events for gay people and then ya’ll wanna ask why we need our own thing cause “we aren’t special” and then ya’ll wanna proceed to ask what about straight people. Fuck ya’ll crying ass babies  .  Grow the fuck up. And watch which homo you talk slick around cause one of these days someone is just gonna pop you in yo lip and you gonna be seeing stars and wondering what the fuck just happened.

    Just stop  . 

    (via escapekansas-deactivated2012082)


  6. regardingstraightpeople:

    Straight privilege is never being too young to know your own sexuality.

    (via shutthefuckupstraightpeople)


  7. treatquestion:

    TW: Violence against queers, Christianity, forced sex


    Oh look, something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately appears.

    This is actually such a big deal that a lot of queer people I’ve met have pissed me the fuck off over it. Two sides to this coin:

    1: ‘You’re queer? But you only date _____”

    2: ‘You’re still in the closet? How oppressed can you be if nobody knows you’re queer?’

    And I’m going to address both of these simultaneously and this will mostly be a massive jumble of feelings so hold on.

    A lot of straight people (especially in fundamentalist Christian circles) don’t actually believe that queer people exist. Most of the people I met before I turned 18 believed that it was a choice or, more accurately, an active rebellion against God. Sorry, but I dunno a lot of straight men who’d overcome their patriarchal repulsion for dick just because they hate Jesus that much. Not buying that one.

    Thus is born the concept of proving queerness. Also the questions like ‘well have you just tried having sex with women???’ ‘What if it’s just a phase??’ ‘Wouldn’t it just be simpler to be straight?’ The questions all center around the concept of queerness being a choice, because God doesn’t make mistakes. The problem must be with you. Although, in the end, God is a tool of patriarchy too. Admitting that people are born queer would be admitting that God made you queer. And we’re a reflection of God (men, at least). White men won’t worship a queer god. We won’t be made in his image. And we won’t believe that sometimes women were made to love other women, as God intended for them to serve us. We don’t know wtf to think about trans people. We don’t, a lot.

    So queerness must be a choice, but I still shudder at queer people constantly reinforcing that this is the way we were born. Because, although I understand the point of refuting the argument, should we have to prove that to merit basic fucking respect? What if it were a choice? It’s not, but still. If it were a choice, would it magically then corrupt the sanctity of marriage? Would it change the fact that hetero recruitment of children exists but LGBTQ recruitment doesn’t? Would anything be different if it actually was a choice? But sometimes that fundamentalism fucks up a lot of us. Sometimes we have to bend the rules to believe that a god loves us even if a lot of his followers don’t believe we exist or deserve even basic respect or protection.

    That leaves a lot of us in the closet. And while we’re fighting to maintain our image of straightness, we sometimes have to deal with other queer people who belittle our situations by saying that we’re cowardly, or ashamed of ourselves.

    And some of us are ashamed of ourselves. Not because we chose to be or because what we are is shameful, but because this is how oppression works. The oppressors will have you convinced that your condition is your fault. Anything, really, to keep it from being their fault. God made me do it, or society did, just pick one and die already.

    The concept of the closet was born of oppression. Moreso for queer People of Color, especially moreso for trans* People of Color. To make somebody detest themselves further for something that they’re already made to be detested for is despicable. Especially when they don’t have the privileges you have, whether those privileges simply consist of a family who will accept you or are as far reaching as a system of centuries of supposed racial superiority that will give you untold advantages in proving yourself to be a human being worthy or respect.

    The need for the closet is oppression. The requirement that you prove your queerness in person is oppressive. Ask straight people to prove their straightness in person and watch how defensive they get. Straight is a necessary and inseparable identity for a lot of people, but a lot of them will just see it as normal. Queer is an identity that we’ll be working a long time, even among ourselves, to perceive as normal.

    If somebody came after you with a baseball bat every time you walked in the house, you’d be locked in the closet too.

    And you don’t need to prove to anybody what you’ve already proven to yourself by overcoming your own subjugation.

    It takes a lot for queer people to ID as queer, as gay, as a lesbian, as bisexual, as pansexual, as a trans* person, even within our own minds.

    But that’s the proving ground.

    And nothing else.

    I’ve moved a lot in my life, and I don’t have any parents or safety net to fall back on.  This means that I’ve had to get jobs and introduce myself to whole new sets of people and wonder every time if I’m going to be denied raises or a job just for being out.  I always come out, though, and it’s usually a positive experience (though one employer sent his wife in to pretend to be an irate customer so he could fire me three days after I came out).

    Before I lived on my own, my life was literally in danger just because I’m queer.

    The point is, that I understand why people do closets.  True, if everyone on earth came out at once, there would probably be a lot more acceptance.  But not until after there was a sharp spike in violence toward queer people on that day.  People paint a rosy picture, but there it is.  Sometimes, people who come out get killed.

    So, if you’re in the closet, I’m not going to out you.  Ever.  And if you’re a runaway, I’m not going to phone that number to get you “safely” back home.  I know what that does.  I’ve lived it.  In all likelihood, you’re not a runaway anyway.  Many so-called runaways are just kids who have been kicked out whose parents got caught and didn’t want to go to jail.

    Also, something people need to realise is that just because you have one good coming-out experience because of your tremendous privilege despite initial misgivings does not mean that everyone will.  I repeat myself: sometimes, people who come out get killed.  Or worse.

    No one should have to prove they had no choice except to be gay.  No justification is needed.  If the lack of opportunities, the death threats, the beatings, the “corrective” rapes, exorcisms, emotional blackmail, solitary confinement, negative culture, and everything else weren’t enough to deter you from coming out, then, who the hell are cis-het people to tell you you need justification?

    Flip it on its head.  Ask them why they’re straight or cis*.  There’s no default.  If they say it’s normal, that there’s some kind of natural order that dictates our existence, point to the Bonobos and laugh.

    (via stfuconfederates-deactivated201)

  8. dumbthingsstraightpeoplesay:


    love it

    And this is and example of what the mainstream queer rights movement should look like. 

    (via shutthefuckupstraightpeople)


  9. "When gays get so angry about a chicken sandwich, it is because Chick-fil-A has given around $5 million to fight to discriminate against us. When we praise brave Eagle Scouts who give up their badges in protest of the Boy Scouts of America’s prejudice, it’s not about scoring political points; it’s because there are kids in dens who are being taught to believe that they are less than equal. When we rant about the pastor who preaches that gays should be thrown into a concentration camp, we scream out of fear. And our fears are justified — in the last seven days, a lesbian in Nebraska was carved with a knife, a gay man in Oklahoma was firebombed, and a girl in Kentucky was kicked and beaten — her jaw broken and her teeth knocked out — while her assailants allegedly hurled anti-gay slurs at her."
    — Conor Gaughan - “We Are Not Arguing Over Chicken” (Huffington Post)

    (Source: thecellofellow, via escapekansas-deactivated2012082)


  10. About yesterday’s …discussion.


    punkcub’s note: The following is a submission I received in response to the mess that this post became. I’m posting it in full because I completely agree with what’s expressed herein.

    I usually don’t comment on these threads. Being angry makes me tired, and I just don’t have the energy to make myself angry. Besides, generally people with a better understanding of the issues and better ability to speak on them take care of it.

    This one comment just bugged the fuck out of me, though.


    oh yes because a 5’2” female who can barely lift her lap dog (though she is quite a fatty) is such a threat

    grrrr fear the cis white female I’m a threat until proven otherwise

    fear me

    hear my cis roar

    Fuck you.

    Being a threat to my existence has nothing to do with your physical presence. If only it were that simple.

    You could be the doctor who denies me my medication because my HIV is “divine punishment.” And the forestalls my attempt to get proper treatment by blocking my attempts to call out of your facility and ignoring my personal doctor when he tries to help me.

    You could be the teacher who sees me being bullied, but doesn’t do anything because “it’ll straighten him out.”

    Or the shop clerk who shames me because I’m a boy looking at make up.

    The school superintendent who sees nothing wrong with the high rate of suicide among gay teens in their district because “good riddance.”

    You could be the person voting to make sure I am not legally protected from losing my job and home simply for existing.

    Or you could be the nurse who has me removed from the psychiatric facility where my partner is after a suicide attempt for “inappropriate behavior.” When I try to complain, I am banned from the facility, and am prevented from contacting him at all.

    What was my inappropriate behavior? I kissed him good bye like a romantic partner would.

    The threat you pose to me isn’t determined solely by where your fist is in relation to my face.

    There are a thousand and more ways you could contribute to the premature end of my life. Don’t act like because you’ve never strapped a gay person to a fence post and set them on fire it somehow makes you a saint.

    You are an enemy until you prove to me otherwise. Simply saying that you “love gay people” doesn’t make you my ally(as a matter of fact, saying that would make me assume you aren’t, but that has nothing to do with what I am talking about here).

    For me to act otherwise puts me and the people I love at potentially fatal risk.

    And fuck you again for not realizing the shit we go through every day. Even though some of us spend our free time patiently explaining to you what we go through. Pointing out the problematic things you say and do. The condescending way you “allow” us to exist as “equal” human beings.

    But you stick your fingers in your ears. You talk over us. You take what we say about the people harming us and make it about how your feelings are hurt because “you’re not that way.”

    So, I say this again, with all sincerity.

    Fuck. You.